God’s retirement plan is out of this world.
There’s one thing I always wanted to do before I quit… retire!
A man is known by the company that keeps him on after retirement age.
The money’s no better in retirement but the hours are.
Retirement without the love of letters is a living burial.
Lucius Annaeus Seneca
When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income.
Chi Chi Rodriguez
A retired husband is often a wife’s full-time job.
I’ve been attending lots of seminars in my retirement. They’re called naps.
Retirement: It’s nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese.
Retire from work, but not from life.
M. K. Soni
The key to retirement is to find joy in the little things.
I’m retired – goodbye tension, hello pension!
Retirement: World’s longest coffee break.
Retirement has been a discovery of beauty for me. I never had the time before to notice the beauty of my grandkids, my wife, the tree outside my very own front door. And, the beauty of time itself.
Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.
Life begins at retirement.
Retirement can be a great joy if you can figure out how to spend time without spending money.
If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there’d be a shortage of fishing poles.
Retirement is wonderful. It’s doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.
There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working.
When you retire, think and act as if you were still working; when you’re still working, think and act a bit as if you were already retired.
The question isn’t at what age I want to retire, it’s at what income.
Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache… unless you play golf.
I’m not just retiring from the company, I’m also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron.
Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.
Don’t play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.
Don’t simply retire from something; have something to retire to.
Harry Emerson Fosdick
I’m now as free as the breeze – with roughly the same income.
When you retire, you switch bosses – from the one who hired you to the one who married you.
When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking.
There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want.
Age is only a number, a cipher for the records. A man can’t retire his experience. He must use it.
When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch.
R. C. Sherriff
A gold watch is the most appropriate gift for retirement, as its recipients have given up so many of their golden hours in a lifetime of service.
Retirement is having nothing to do and someone always keeping you from it.
I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So I do it three or four times a day.
In retirement, every day is Boss Day and every day is Employee Appreciation Day.
I try to treat each evening and weekend as little slices of retirement because no one is guaranteed a lengthy one at the end of their career.
Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.
Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.
Retirement is the ugliest word in the language.
Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.
First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly.
In my retirement I go for a short swim at least once or twice every day. It’s either that or buy a new golf ball.
Sometimes it’s hard to tell if retirement is a reward for a lifetime of hard work or a punishment.
The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing.
If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt.
Retirement kills more people than hard work ever did.
There are days in retirement that are the waking equivalent of a dreamless sleep, if you know what I mean.
Retirement: That’s when you return from work one day and say, “Hi, Honey, I’m home – forever.”
The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.
My retirement plan is to find a shopping cart with good snow tires.
The concept of freedom is never truly realized until one settles into retirement mode.
Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.
Retire? I’m going to stay in show business until I’m the only one left.
George F. Burns
Don’t think of retiring from the world until the world will be sorry that you retire.
‘Retiring’ – within that word is ‘tiring,’ and I’m not tired. I don’t believe in retirement, really.
To enjoy a long, comfortable retirement, save more today.
I think that retirement is the first step towards the grave.
The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.