Retirement Quotes

Retirement Quotes | Photo: Nancy/Creative Commons

God’s retirement plan is out of this world.
Unknown Author

There’s one thing I always wanted to do before I quit… retire!
Groucho Marx

A man is known by the company that keeps him on after retirement age.
Anon

The money’s no better in retirement but the hours are.
Unknown Author

Retirement without the love of letters is a living burial.
Lucius Annaeus Seneca

When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income.
Chi Chi Rodriguez

A retired husband is often a wife’s full-time job.
Ella Harris

I’ve been attending lots of seminars in my retirement. They’re called naps.
Merri Brownworth

Retirement: It’s nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese.
Gene Perret

Retire from work, but not from life.
M. K. Soni

The key to retirement is to find joy in the little things.
Susan Miller

I’m retired – goodbye tension, hello pension!
Unknown Author

Retirement: World’s longest coffee break.
Unknown Author

Retirement has been a discovery of beauty for me. I never had the time before to notice the beauty of my grandkids, my wife, the tree outside my very own front door. And, the beauty of time itself.
Hartman Jule

Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.
Unknown Author

Life begins at retirement.
Unknown Author

Retirement can be a great joy if you can figure out how to spend time without spending money.
Unknown Author

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there’d be a shortage of fishing poles.
Doug Larson

Retirement is wonderful. It’s doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.
Gene Perret

There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working.
Robert Half

When you retire, think and act as if you were still working; when you’re still working, think and act a bit as if you were already retired.
Unknown Author

The question isn’t at what age I want to retire, it’s at what income.
George Foreman

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache… unless you play golf.
Gene Perret

I’m not just retiring from the company, I’m also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron.
Hartman Jule

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.
Jim Bishop

Don’t play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.
Harry Vardon

Don’t simply retire from something; have something to retire to.
Harry Emerson Fosdick

I’m now as free as the breeze – with roughly the same income.
Gene Perret

When you retire, you switch bosses – from the one who hired you to the one who married you.
Gene Perret

When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking.
Gail Sheehy

There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want.
Bill Watterson

Age is only a number, a cipher for the records. A man can’t retire his experience. He must use it.
Bernard Baruch

When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch.
R. C. Sherriff

A gold watch is the most appropriate gift for retirement, as its recipients have given up so many of their golden hours in a lifetime of service.
Harry Mahtar

Retirement is having nothing to do and someone always keeping you from it.
Robert Brault

I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So I do it three or four times a day.
Gene Perret

In retirement, every day is Boss Day and every day is Employee Appreciation Day.
Terri Guillemets

I try to treat each evening and weekend as little slices of retirement because no one is guaranteed a lengthy one at the end of their career.
Mike Hammar

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
George Burns

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.
Ogden Nash

Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.
Herbert Asquith

Retirement is the ugliest word in the language.
Ernest Hemingway

Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.
William Wordsworth

First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly.
Branch Rickey

In my retirement I go for a short swim at least once or twice every day. It’s either that or buy a new golf ball.
Gene Perret

Sometimes it’s hard to tell if retirement is a reward for a lifetime of hard work or a punishment.
Terri Guillemets

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing.
Phyllis Diller

If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt.
Dean Martin

Retirement kills more people than hard work ever did.
Malcolm Forbes

There are days in retirement that are the waking equivalent of a dreamless sleep, if you know what I mean.
Robert Brault

Retirement: That’s when you return from work one day and say, “Hi, Honey, I’m home – forever.”
Gene Perret

The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.
Abe Lemons

My retirement plan is to find a shopping cart with good snow tires.
Patty Doyle

The concept of freedom is never truly realized until one settles into retirement mode.
A. Major

Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.
Jonathan Clements

Retire? I’m going to stay in show business until I’m the only one left.
George F. Burns

Don’t think of retiring from the world until the world will be sorry that you retire.
Samuel Johnson

‘Retiring’ – within that word is ‘tiring,’ and I’m not tired. I don’t believe in retirement, really.
Theodore Bikel

To enjoy a long, comfortable retirement, save more today.
Suze Orman

I think that retirement is the first step towards the grave.
Hugh Hefner

The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.
Unknown Author