Divorce Quotes

A divorce is like an amputation; you survive, but there’s less of you.
Margaret Atwood

A divorce lawyer is a chameleon with a law book.
Marvin Mitchelson

A new study found that women gain more weight after marriage, but men gain more weight after a divorce. Yeah, the divorce usually takes place after men point out that women gained more weight after marriage.
Jimmy Fallon

A society’s apprehensiveness about divorce is an expression of its fear of change and of its resulting desire that personality remain unvarying.
Elsie Clew Parsons

Ah, yes, divorce… from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.
Robin Williams

American husbands are the best in the world; no other husbands are so generous to their wives, or can be so easily divorced.
Elinor Glyn

Any woman who votes for no-fault divorce is like a turkey voting for thanksgiving.
Pat Robertson

Asking the legal system to resolve divorce is like asking a boxing coach to be our marriage counselor.
Warren Farrell

Divorce is a by-product of the fact that maybe the nuclear unit is gone.
Bob Geldof

Divorce is a declaration of independence with only two signers.
Gerald F. Lieberman

Divorce is a failed challenge, which leads to a broken life. It is a socially transmittable disease that can transfer from one generation to another, and it is spreading fast.
Sia F. Dean

Divorce is a fire exit. When a house is burning, it doesn’t matter who set the fire. If there is no fire exit, everyone in the house will be burned!
Mehmet Murat Ildan

Divorce is a game played by lawyers.
Cary Grant

Divorce is an embarrassing public admission of defeat.
Tracy Letts

Divorce is like cutting off a gangrened arm to save the rest of the body.
David Knox and Caroline Schacht

Divorce is like death without a burial.
Dane Cunningham

Divorce is probably as painful as death.
William Shatner

Divorce is probably of nearly the same date as marriage. I believe, however, that marriage is some weeks the more ancient.
Voltaire

Divorce is the key that opens the strongbox where the bonds of matrimony are kept under wedlock.
Evan Esar

Divorce is the one human tragedy that reduces everything to cash.
Rita Mae Brown

Divorce is the price people play for playing with matches.
Evan Esar

Divorce is the psychological equivalent of a triple coronary bypass.
Mary Kay Blakely

Divorce is the result of a lack of preparation for marriage and the failure to learn the skills of working together as teammates in an intimate relationship.
Gary Chapman

Divorce isn’t such a tragedy. A tragedy’s staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong things about love. Nobody ever died of divorce.
Jennifer Weiner

Divorce lawyers stoke anger and fear in their clients, knowing that as long as the conflicts remain unresolved the revenue stream will keep flowing.
Craig Ferguson

Divorce these days is a religious vow, as if the proper offspring of marriage.
Tertullian

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
Ambrose Bierce

Divorced men are more likely to meet their car payments than their child support obligations.
Susan Faludi

For a couple with young children, divorce seldom comes as a solutionto stress, only as a way to end one form of pain and accept another.
Fred Rogers

For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to bermuda is over in two weeks but a divorce is something you always have.
Woody Allen

Getting divorced just because you don’t love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
Zsa Zsa Gabor

Grief is the emotional contract of divorce.
Cheryl Nielsen

Grown-ups are worried that they’re going to ruin their children’s lives, but divorce is just a life experience and you learn from it.
Evan Stern

I do not consider divorce an evil by any means. It is just as much a refuge for women married to brutal men as canada was to the slaves of brutal masters.
Susan B. Anthony

I don’t miss him, I miss who I thought he was.
Unknown Author

I don’t think i’ll get married again; i’ll just find a woman i don’t like and give her a house.
Lewis Grizzard

I doubt if there is one married person on earth who can be objective about divorce. It is always a threat, admittedly or not, and such a dire threat that it is almost a dirty word.
Nora Johnson

I find to my astonishment that an unhappy marriage goes on being unhappy when it is over.
Rebecca West

I swear, if you existed I’d divorce you.
Edward Albee

If divorce has increased by one thousand percent, don’t blame the women’s movement. Blame the obsolete sex roles on which our marriages were based.
Betty Friedan

If marriage means you fell in love, does divorce mean you climbed out?
Unknown Author

I’m an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
Zsa Zsa Gabor

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find and continue to find grounds for marriage.
Robert Woodruff Anderson

In Hollywood, an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty percent of publicity.
Lauren Bacall

In our family we don’t divorce our men – we bury them.
Ruth Gordon

It is difficult to make a man miserable while he feels worthy of himself and claims kindred to the great God who made him.
Abraham Lincoln

It takes two to destroy a marriage.
Margaret Trudeau

I’ve given my memoirs far more thought than any of my marriages. You can’t divorce a book.
Gloria Swanson

I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something’s wrong with me.
Elayne Boosler

Just another of our many disagreements. He wants a no-fault divorce, whereas I would prefer to have the bastard crucified.
J. B. Handlesman

Losing a mate to death is devastating but it’s not a personal attack like divorce. When somebody you love stops loving you and walks away, it’s an insult beyond comparison.
Sue Merrell

Love, the quest; marriage, the conquest; divorce, the inquest.
Helen Rowland

Many a woman would get a divorce if she could do it without making her husband happy.
Evan Esar

Marriage is grand. Divorce is about twenty grand.
Jay Leno

Marriage is probably the chief cause of divorce.
Larry Gelbart

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
Groucho Marx

Marriage problems are relationship problems, they are the result of how two people interact with each other. You may abandon a troubled marriage, but you will still bring the way you interact with others along with you.
Mark Gungor

My divorce came to me as a complete surprise. That’s what happens when you haven’t been home in eighteen years.
Lee Trevino

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.
Tommy Manville

So many persons think divorce a panacea for every ill, who find out, when they try it, that the remedy is worse than the disease.
Dorothy Dix

Some people think that it’s holding on that makes one strong; sometimes it’s letting go.
Unknown Author

Some women get divorces on the grounds of incompatibility; others, on just the first two syllables.
Evan Esar

Sometimes divorce is better than marriage.
Sumner Redstone

The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money.
Johnny Carson

The divorced person is like a man with a black patch over one eye: he looks rather dashing but the fact is that he has been through a maiming experience.
Jo Coudert

The easiest way to get a divorce is to be married.
American Proverb

The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials.
Chinese Proverb

The happiest time of anyone’s life is just after the first divorce.
John Kenneth Galbraith

The loss of love is not nearly as painful as our resistance to accepting it is.
Tigress Luv

The obvious effect of frivolous divorce will be frivolous marriage. If people can be separated for no reason they will feel it all the easier to be united for no reason.
G. K. Chesterton

The possibility of divorce renders both marriage partners stricter in their observance of the duties they owe to each other. Divorces help to improve morals and to increase the population.
Denis Diderot

The power of divorce can be given only to those who feel the inconveniences of marriage, and who are sensible of the moment when it is for their interest to make them cease.
Montesquieu

The snag about marriage is, it isn’t worth the divorce.
Suzanne Finnamore

The three chief causes of divorce are men, women, and marriage.
Evan Esar

The worst reconciliation is better than the best divorce.
Miguel de Cervantes

There are four stages in a marriage. First there’s the affair, then the marriage, then children and finally the fourth stage, without which you cannot know a woman, the divorce.
Norman Mailer

Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
Alfred Lord Tennyson

When people divorce, it’s always such a tragedy. At the same time, if people stay together it can be even worse.
Monica Bellucci

When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn’t a sign that they don’t understandone another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
Helen Rowland

Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They’re worth it.
Henny Youngman

You don’t know a women till you’ve met her in court.
Norman Mailer

You know, that’s the only good thing about divorce; you get to sleep with your mother.
Clare Booth Luce