A bachelor’s life is no life for a single man.
A Hospital is no place to be sick.
A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on.
A wide screen just makes a bad film twice as bad.
Any man who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.
Color television! Bah, I won’t believe it until I see it in black and white.
Don’t pay any attention to the critics – don’t even ignore them.
Don’t worry about the war. It’s all over but the shooting.
Every director bites the hand that lays the golden egg.
For your information, I would like to ask a question.
From success you get a lot of things, but not that great inside thing that love brings you.
Give me a couple of years, and I’ll make that actress an overnight success.
Give me a smart idiot over a stupid genius any day.
Go see it and see for yourself why you shouldn’t go see it.
God makes stars. I just produce them.
Here I am paying big money to you writers and what for? All you do is change the words.
I can give you a definite perhaps.
I don’t think anyone should write their autobiography until after they’re dead.
I don’t want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their job.
I had a monumental idea this morning, but I didn’t like it.
I hate a man who always says “yes” to me. When I say “no” I like a man who also says “no.”
I never liked you, and I always will.
I never put on a pair of shoes until I’ve worn them at least five years.
I read part of it all the way through.
I seriously object to seeing on the screen what belongs in the bedroom.
I think luck is the sense to recognize an opportunity and the ability to take advantage of it… The man who can smile at his breaks and grab his chances gets on.
I want everyone to tell me the truth, even if it costs him his job.
I was always an independent, even when I had partners.
I’ll take fifty percent efficiency to get one hundred percent loyalty.
I’m willing to admit that I may not always be right, but I am never wrong.
If I could drop dead right now, I’d be the happiest man alive.
If I look confused it is because I am thinking.
If people don’t want to go to the picture, nobody can stop them.
If Roosevelt were alive today, he’d turn over in his grave.
Ill give you a definite maybe.
Include me out.
It’s absolutely impossible, but it has possibilities.
It’s more than magnificent – it’s mediocre.
Let’s have some new cliches.
Modern dancing is old fashioned.
No agency is better than its account executives.
No person who is enthusiastic about his work has anything to fear from life.
Our comedies are not to be laughed at.
Pictures are for entertainment, messages should be delivered by Western Union.
Please write music like Wagner, only louder.
Spare no expense to save money on this one.
Television has raised writing to a new low.
That’s the trouble with directors. Always biting the hand that lays the golden egg.
The harder I work, the luckier I get.
The reason so many people turned up at his funeral is that they wanted to make sure he was dead.
The scene is dull. Tell him to put more life into his dying.
This music won’t do. There’s not enough sarcasm in it.
Too caustic? To hell with the costs, we’ll make the picture anyway.
We want a story that starts out with an earthquake and works its way up to a climax.
We’re overpaying him, but he’s worth it.
When someone does something good, applaud! You will make two people happy.
Why should people go out and pay money to see bad films when they can stay at home and see bad television for nothing?
You’ve got to take the bitter with the sour.